~k-ee-ran

Since I missed probably the last paintball game before next season… I complied a list of infamous quotes to make it up to myself, and for your general entertainment. Enjoy.



Paintball Players Say the Darndest Things! [edited to include quotes generously donated by ~bloodyjackfaber!

“Yippe-ki-yay, mother fu--- errrr… Yippe-ki-yay, mother dearest!”

“Who says you need a gun to play paintball?”

“…for insanity, and for having the worst luck ever and still managing to make yourself useful, I pronounce you the ninth member of the Sentinels.”

[famous last words] “Bring it, punk!”

“Accessorize!”

”NOT ON MY WATCH!!”

"Would you stop freaking out on me?"
"I'm not freaking out. I just don't shut up."
"Ok, well then..." [continues as if nothing happened]

"Just run at that bunker, start screaming, and don't shut up."

"I don't have any paint or air left."
"Then just be a screaming body in our mass charge."
"Sounds like a party!"

"You don't do anything small, do you?"

"My gun broke down."
"Then what are you still doing out here?"
"Oh, you'd be surprised..."

“Gentlemen… unleash hell!”

[a conversation over the radio between my paintball captain and myself]
“So, did you ever use that claymore?”
“Yup. Just did.”
“What’d you do?”
“Took out a tank.”
[long pause] “A tank.”
“Yup.”
[another long pause] “Okaaaay…..”

“Shoot me, just shoot me!”

"Kid, get this through your head. I work alone."

[a first-timer girl gets hit and starts screaming]
"Wow, that's an interesting soundtrack!"

"Heh, he's not my Captain yet..."

[while I'm getting lit up, Jake tries to pull me out of the way, and gets lit up himself]
"Jake, what was that for?!"
"You were getting shot!"
".....so?"

Mr. Morse, Dean of Students: "Anyone who shoots me gets an instant level 14 probation."
Myself: "Hey Morse, I'd gladly take the probation for a chance to light you up!"

[notices about 40 people completely surrounding us]
"Hey, are those guys on our team?"
"Don't think so...."
[exchanges a quick glance, both say together...] "OH, CRAP!" [both dive for cover as a rain of paint suddenly starts]

[barrel tagging people one by one] “You’re dead… you’re dead… you’re dead…”
[someone I just barrel tagged] “Okay, let me make this easier for you. Everyone in this area, you’re now dead! Got it?”

“Hey, where’s your gun?”
“I broke it.”
“…why am I not surprised?”

“Hey, have you seen a-“
”NO!”

"I don't cheat! I just twist the rules in my favor!"

“Sir, yellow base is asking for help!”
“Okay, first off, don’t call me ‘sir’. It’s Foster. Or whatever. And secondly… we have people in yellow base?”

“Sorry, Jared.” [pokes with barrel] “You’re a zombie now.”
“Dang it! When am I gonna learn not to trust you?”
“I don’t know, I was kinda wondering that myself.”

[after a guy in a Nemesis costume ravages a base]
“Well that… was random.”

“You know the problem with being a dirty double-crosser? Nobody trusts you.”

“Can you see them?” [silence] “Do you have a visual?”
“No…”
“Well, then I’ll give you a freakin’ visual!!” [runs at the enemy base, screaming like a banshee]

“Are you any good?”
“Define good.”
“Ummm… do you run around and scream a lot?”
“Well, I do that, but I’m not sure that’s a very good definition of good.”

“This mail armor just clings to you. Like you-“ [points to me] “-it’d totally show off all your curves.”
“…or lack thereof?”

“I don’t look like a quail, do I?”

“THE SCREAMER LIVES!!!”

“Are you s**t?”
“What?!”
“Um, are you hit? Are you hit?!”

[singsong voice] “La-la-la, you can’t hit me, I’m out of ra-aaaange!!”

[in a one-on-one shootout with an opponent I can’t see] “Um, lovely day, isn’t it?”

“Hey, c’mere! Meet Jinx, the girl from Hunt for the Cure.”
“Oh, you mean the girl without the gun? The one you want to kill?”
“Yeah, pretty much!”

“Are you a professional team?”
[laughs] “Wow, kid, that’s a good ‘un!”

[later that same day…] “Are you guys professionals?”
“Thanks for the compliment, kid… but no. You typically have to be paid to be considered pro.”

[field owner drives in] “And the big man finally shows up…”
“You better not be referring to size!”

“You just been ninja’d.”

“Operation Lonestar shall never die!”

“You’re like, a human disco ball.”

“Are you a good shot?”
“I’m probably better than you.”

“What’s your codename?”
“Ima… Ima Cheater.”

“What are you doing here? Where’s your gun?!”
“It broke. I’m playing the messenger again. And to start out my duty, I’ll let you know that there’s only six people left in that base.”
“Nice. Here that, men? Only six left! Let’s take ‘em!”

“I’m not a spy!”
“You walked one of our men right into a trap.”
“Okay, excuse me, but I don’t have a radio here. People do move while I’m running around, y’know!”

“You better hope that Red finds you.”

“Getting lit up, welts, bruises, pain… that’s all temporary. The reputation you get, though, that lasts much longer.”

“Spartans! Prepare for glory!”

“Death to the noobs! Death to the noobs!”

“This is the girl that broke two guns at the Hunt.”
“Um… it was three, actually.”

“Join the zombies! We’re cooler, anyway! Mmmmmm, braaaaaiiinsss…..”

“You just been jinxed!”

”YOU!”
“…oh, s**t.”

“Foster trusts me with one of his guns? Aw dang, I feel special.”



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The Crew-- (Keep to the Code)


The AWEsome-- (friends & talented artists)


The Clubs--


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